Consummation

(c) A.L. Nathan

For Xylia Sylva, muse, friend and sister-soul, who told me to keep writing erotica despite my bashfulness.

(Previously published in Alchemica Erotica’s only issue)

Dancing Between Lines

A column by (c) A. L Nathan ( 2004)

I feel it difficult to separate writing, and literature from the sensual, sexual aspects of human nature because writing is a sensate and intimate act no matter the genre. When I tried to explain this to someone, they automatically assumed that it meant writing one-handedly, which doesn’t sound like a very efficient way of going about it, in my opinion. I prefer to write, both hands on the keyboard, fingers moving at high speed as words pour out of me and elaborate pictures swirl about in my mind. No, for me the act of writing equates the act of creation, something both spiritual and holy, and linked to everything that makes us human. You have to be aware of your senses, and your surroundings, and transcribe it down into words.
As a word-child I have ever felt this pull. The same thrill I have when reading a new book is translated whenever I write a new story. It is a thrill that is almost forbidden, almost sexual. For me, the link between the two is a mixture of spiritual and earthly, sacred and profane. It calls up images of marriage which from an early, traditional upbringing I had seen as something sacred, something linked into the mysterious act of procreation which was a mixture of both love, and creation.

The image of the marriage bed back then, was veiled in shadows and secrets. It represented a place in which in some mysterious act of induction occured; transforming the bride into both wife and mother. It is an image which is recorded in the arcane tomes of Alchemy, and which I refer to in the name of this e-zine. Consider this image against the various discourses masked in online erotica, whole sites and categories dedicated to…”slut wives” and thinly veiled rape fantasies in many bondage and gang-bang type fiction.

It is a splicing of both the “Angel in the House” and the “Monster”, a violent deconstruction and defilement of the Madonna, which has very little to do with sexual liberation and has a lot to do with… well, who knows? I’d like to say a subconscious hate, but the truth is very probably more complicated. This is not to say that I find any literary value in these pieces I’ve read, but it does provoke thought from a discursive angle.

C.G. Jung and various fairytale scholars have touched upon what may have tickled at the back of the minds of many of us, that the interplay between the male/female protagonists of these fairytales touch on something deeper than most of us may have imagined. For me, this isn’t very far away from the picture I cradled: something intimate, personal, and private. Erotica, I posit, can be a celebration of words and the very human condition of being sexual. I do not limit this to heterosexuals alone. These images are also found, once again, in Alchemy.

However, this is not always the case in our society where erotica is stygmatized as being a mere function, much like an auto-erotic spasm or a public latrine. And this is what I often feel when I read some of the less seminal (there’s an irony in some terminologies, yes) works on the internet, that focuses on the fluff, on the more underdeveloped of fantasies which seem adolescent to me.

In fact, before the internet, I had very little idea of what erotica really meant other than my own imaginings and timidly handwritten tableaus, and the words of people like D. H. Lawrence, Anais Nin and yes, writers of various genres: Historical, Romance, Speculative Fiction and Literature. Because I read in various genres, I saw erotica as being a composite of all these, but sexier. And my own fixation on mythic and spiritual themes made me wonder how much more could be told.

But you do not often see these subtleties, these dancing between themes in erotica. Often it seems to be a banquet of extremes, or a choice between this pigeonhole or that. Every now and then, though, I do find myself pleasantly surprised by stories of depth, and angles both mythic and spiritual. But often, on both sides of the fence, these lines are drawn, though they may not have always been separated in ancient cultures. I suppose this `zine is one of the ways in which I am trying to dance between the lines of these extremes, only this time I am inviting others to dance along with me in this masque of words.

And I know there are others out there asking these questions, trying to define the lines in their own ways (and words). Sure, erotica can be nice when it’s just about the thrills, but by adding these nuances, it becomes something better.

In future issues, I shall talk about related themes in this column, dancing between the motifs of sexuality, mythology and yes, alchemy.

Ed: Unfortunately, that was the first, and only issue of Alchemica Erotica. I would love to resuscitate it, someday, but for now, this will suffice.

Posted by A. L. Nathan